Finding Safety in Vulnerability
OK to Be Vulnerable We’re all a little afraid to be vulnerable. Sometimes our technology allows us to navigate “the world” in the safety and comfort of our homes. Sometimes people lose themselves in their cell phones and carefully avoid contact with things that don’t feel “safe”. It all seems easy. I’ve found, and I know you have, that when we step away from our phones, allow ourselves to be a little vulnerable and interact with others, we tend to grow and gain much more confidence and indeed a better sense of self. I'm fortunate to be able to take that chance. Many can't risk it.
Travel as Opportunity Our favorite travel guru Rick Steves likes to see travel as a “political act", a way to step out of ourselves and what is familiar and comfortable and broaden our empathy and perspective. "As a traveler,” he said, “I've often found that the more a culture differs from my own, the more I am struck by its essential humanity". Many of us can't afford to travel, but there are different ways to do so - finding ways to get out of our comfort zones. In the story I am about to share I was fortunate to be traveling.
On the Road to Bethlehem Years ago, I found myself studying in Israel. It was January and I wanted to visit Bethlehem. Because of the timing, I was focused on going to the Church of the Nativity on Orthodox Christmas. That would be great! A recent fight with Hezbollah had made travel to the Palestinian Authority difficult. I walked the old city of Jerusalem wondering how and if I could pull it off. And then a car pulled up and asked what I was trying to do. “Go to Bethlehem”, says I. “Sure”, they said, “jump in”.
Bias My antennae went up. When I was a paperboy, I remember a VW pulling up and the people inside offering me a ride. I said no - I knew about "stranger danger"! I found out later that day that the police were looking for a VW that was trying to kidnap people. OK, having become a world-wise paperboy, no way was I getting into this car in Jerusalem. After all, these people seemed like Muslims. Having never really met a Muslim, I suspected that this might be an attempt to kidnap a high-profile former paperboy. How would I ever explain my stupidity to my wife? I'm no fool!... Cleverly, I asked to see their id’s. They were Israeli Arabs. Hmmm... I really wanted to go to Bethlehem. OK, I’ll stick my toe into the water and see what happens.
Muslim Hospitality They sensed my hesitation and asked (or sensed?) if I were an American. They told me not to worry. They would drive slowly and I should walk behind their car. If at any time I felt something was off, or I felt threatened, I could turn to an Israeli policeman. We were in the old city, after all. OK, I’ll chance it. As I walked behind them, I found myself being led to a wonderful house with a big courtyard. It had been there for generations.
As I went in, they offered coffee (Turkish coffee in Jerusalem is amazing!) and food and got on the phone. They came back and said they had arranged for a car with their cousin and had contacted a tour guide in Bethlehem and that they would take care of me. OK, let’s give it a try.
And so, we drove through the checkpoint into Bethlehem. A few Orthodox pilgrims were there, but otherwise it was deserted. The shopkeepers were desperate for customers and so I bought some wooden mementos for the family just to help them out a little. Then, I was welcomed by my guide, whose name was Jesus. Really! OK, thanks my new Muslim friends. Jesus was about to give me a tour of the manger! Can't beat that!
I don't remember the Muslim family asking for money. I did pay Jesus. That day, my world expanded . It had happened before. Having trained a bit to be a soldier at my beloved Norwich University in Vermont, I had been geared to defend us from the Soviets if necessary. My first trip after college was to the USSR. In the Moscow airport my antennae went up again. I saw soldiers and was self-conscious that they saw me as a potential enemy too. A soldier approached… holding the hand of his wife as they pushed their baby carriage. My reflexes relaxed a little. After all, it was that small moment of opening and self-reflection of glasnost and perestroika.
My Turn We live in a dangerous and complicated world. Translating these stories into meaning today may be simplistic, but it brings me back to the basics - fear and hope. We’re in a moment of labeling anyone we don’t like as "enemy" - even fellow Americans. Our biases kick in and are often exploited by those with bad intentions. We can step back. Be a little cautious. Look around and be less guided by fear, manipulation, and bias. We need to get a little more uncomfortable, a little more vulnerable, trust each other a bit more, listen, and do what good people do: offer hospitality, hospitality to the stranger in our midst.
The Nativity scene was the story about vulnerable refugees who found shelter. And yet, a report by Brian Niemietz showed that for the first time in 90 years (the Great Depression) more people are leaving the U.S. than coming in. Why are people leaving and others frightened to come? Are we no longer the beacon to those seeking hope? Our current fears are being manipulated and enflamed by our government that is inflicting damage on the life of the Republic. We'll have fewer ideas, fewer solutions; fewer taxpayers, and a growing fear that isolates us and makes us vulnerable but in the wrong way.
I want us all to be a little less afraid. I want us to fight for our democratic values and create more spaces where those looking for safety and opportunity can find shelter. Where being vulnerable does not mean being harmed or afraid. I think we can do that when we recognize we are all vulnerable, reject fear of the unknown, question our biases, and be generous with our curiosity and care.
